GRAPHICS SOUND CONTROL FRUSTRATION FUN FACTOR OVERALL

NES 2 Player Sports This game was made back in 1988, in the heyday (in my opinion), of professional basketball. Magic Johnson didn't have AIDS, Michael Jordan hadn't retired yet, Dennis Rodman hadn't become a transsexual yet, and white guys could still compete. Come to think of it, this game was probably the last NBA video game to feature a white guy in the title. This game was made by Electronic Arts under the Milton Bradley license, and is the precursor to all the NBA Live games, and current EA NBA games you see on the shitbox nowadays. Milton Bradley didn't make a whole lot of games, but they made some memorable ones. Marble Madness, Captain Skyhawk, and Abadox, to name a few. This game has the audacity to set Michael Jordan against Larry Bird in a one-on-one pick-up game. Now we all know that in real life, Michael Jordan would just leap over Larry Bird's head until he ran into his gigantic nose. But, those lazy programmers didn't seem to want to go that extra mile. Sigh... what is our country coming to when the programmers for a simple basketball game can't make Larry Bird's nose the correct size? We might as well let Fidel Castro come waltzing into the White House and take a shit on the same toilet Abraham Lincoln did! Oh well. The nerve.... Graphics: Aside from Larry Bird's nose not being gigantic enough, the game doesn't have horrible graphics. But they sure are bad. they use the same background throughout the whole game, and it isn't very good at that. The only difference I can see between Jordan and Bird is that one is Black and wearing Chicago Bulls colors, and the other is White and wearing Boston Celtics colors. But at least you know who is who, so that's why I gave the graphics a 2. Definitely NOT a feast for the eyes here kids. You'd be better off watching fat people wearing shoelaces run a 10k race. Sound: The sound isn't all that bad actually. I have seen much worse from much better companies. ahem (1942) ahem. The songs aren't annoying and don't drive you insane after a long time. They don't, however have much in the sound effects department. The only sound effect is the sound of the ball going through the net when you score. tsk tsk. On second thought, it's probably better that way because they would've just put annoying little thumps for when you dribble anyway. Control: The control sucks on this game. You can't block, steal, shoot, rebound, whatever. It is hard to tell where the ball is once you miss, which you will, A LOT. Also, in the Slam Dunk Contest Mode, it is nearly impossible to figure out how the dunks work. you have to hold A and approach the basket in a special way to dunk. It is a pain in my anus. Also, in the 3 point contest, the shooting controls are completely different than that in the regular game, and they are more confusing. Also, you cannot make a 3 pointer in the contest very often. It is hard as hell. Frustration: The total lack of control over your player make this game annoying as hell. I think I'll start a contest to see who can play this game the longest straight. Nobody will go for over a hour before having suicidal tendencies. Also, you can't win at this game. I have been trying for a while and cannot seem to beat Larry Bird. I am seriously thinking about making Jordan vs. Bird into a candidate for an NES destruction derby. ......BOTTOM LINE: EA had a few good ideas for this game, but they just couldn't pull it off without stinking the whole damn place up with it. The only reason I would buy this game is for collection purposes, or just to have a precursor to some OK EA sports games, or my favorite, skeet shooting. Line the birdcages with this one folks, it's not worth the price of the newspaper you usually use. -gimmethebaaawl